6/9/09

BASIC COMMUNICATION

This is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to do, and, apparently, the most difficult.
It will be given in 4 lessons, because, each is a learning experience in itself.

LESSON ONE -- LISTENING -- The rules.

1. Shut up.
2. Keep quiet.
3. Don't talk.
4. Don't even THINK about speaking.

Practice this until you can do it. Keep trying.
If you care enough, it will happen.
If you care enough, you can do it.
Only when you can follow these rules can you go on to Lesson 2.

LESSON TWO -- SPEAKING -- The rules.

1. Speak only when you are sure of what to say
2. Speak very briefly, one sentence, then go back to Listening.

Now, I suppose you see the faults in this. First, if you don't even think about speaking, how can you "be sure of what to say?" And second, if you do have a chance to think about it, how would you "be sure of what to say?"

LESSON THREE -- THINKING -- The rules.

1. Do your thinking outside the dialog -- when you're alone.
2. Learn about the different replies for the different situations.
. . the next posts will show you.

LESSON FOUR -- HEARING -- The rules.

1. Look at the woman (without speaking)
2. Listen to the words (without speaking)
3. Try to comprehend what is being said (without thinking of speaking)

So, why is this lesson 4 instead of lesson 2? It should be Lesson 2, but, because men find it so difficult to hear what women say, I wanted to put in lesson 2 & 3 first, so you can see WHY you need to HEAR.

You have to first HEAR what was said before you can be sure of what to say so you can speak. The correct responses are based on what the woman is saying. If you don't hear what's being said, you can't have the proper response. For example:
she: I'll be going to a meeting of my book club tonight.
he: Oh, jeese, honey. That's terrible, I'm so sorry it happened. Is there anything I can do?
---His response is a good one, but not for this situation. He didn't HEAR.

So, the actual, correct order is:
1. Thinking -- study the effective responses (in the following posts)
2. Listening -- without thinking of response.
3. Hearing -- understanding what she's saying.
4. Speaking -- say the "right" thing, and make it short.

That's it. That's the 4 lessons. How hard can it be??
Most of the rest of this blog will be about the Thinking part -- what are the effective responses?
.
Posted by at

1 comment:

  1. Enlightened HorsemanshipJune 10, 2009 at 5:52 PM

    All this is too hard. Except for the not thinking part. That part is easy. I have made a career of not thinking. But back to your process, it is too hard. First of all, when the woman speaks, we men do try to listen, but they speak for so long that by the time they get to the end, we cannot remember the beginning. By that time, carefully designed responses which were thought of ahead of time cannot be counted on. (Much less remembered) So in keeping with Enlightened Horsemanship's approach of keeping things extremely easy and using techniques that are automated or self-working I propose a technique that:
    1. Does not require understanding (Because you are not physically able.)
    2. Does not require listening (Because, lets face it, you don't really care.)
    3. Is automated (Because you never are thinking when your lips are moving)
    4. Effective (Because you do want to stay out of trouble)

    So here you go, simply nod your head and think about nascar or something until she stops talking, then repeat the last couple of words she said. Doesnt matter what she said, just repeat it. Doesnt matter if it was a question or a statement, (you wont know which anyway) just repeat it.

    Example:
    She: "I'm going to my book club meeting tomorrow afternoon."
    Him: "Tomorrow Afternoon?"
    She: "Yes, idiot, tomorrow afternoon, I have to meet with the girls before though."
    Him: "Before?"
    She: "Yes, so make sure the car has enough gas."
    Him: "Enough gas..."
    She: "Good, glad you got it."
    Him: "Got it."

    Example two: To illustrate, I will use the same situation as a control but with different syntax to illustrate that the system still works well.

    She: "Tomorrow afternoon, I have to go to my book club meeting."
    He: "Book club meeting?"
    She: "Yes,Idiot, but before that, I will have to meet with the girls."
    He: "The girls."
    She: "Yes, not quite sure why you keep repeating what I say like a complete moron, but make sure you leave enough gas in the car."
    He: "The car."
    She: "God yes, the F@#@ing car. Got it?"
    He: "It,... I mean got it, yes, got it."
    She: "Ass."
    He: "A.."
    She:"Shut up and stop taking advice from The Enburdened Horseman."
    He: "....horseman..."

    As you can see, it works wonderfully.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)